WALTER PAISLEY

by LUSCIOUS DUNCAN

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Drew Gabriel
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Drew Gabriel Luscious Duncan is extremely underrated and deserves every trophy ever made. But for real he is pretty damn good at making some catchy/weird/goofy beats and rapping his balls off over them. Favorite track: SMARTER & COOLER.
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about

My first actual fucking solo album. Motherfucking finally. No one else's beats, no one else's pictures, no one else's mixes. All samples from one source--a movie in the public domain (see credit below). Suck my fucking dick, copyright.

credits

released May 2, 2014

All music/lyrics/production/art/everything (for real) by Luscious Duncan. For once.

The movie sampled throughout is "A Bucket of Blood" (1959 - www.imdb.com/title/tt0052655/ ), a film in the public domain. There are multiple rips of the movie on youtube and I highly recommend you watch it. It is a genius satire and much of it still rings true nearly sixty years later. If you listen to this album you'll end up hearing like half the movie anyway so you may as well watch the fucking thing. Show some god damned respect.

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LUSCIOUS DUNCAN Chicago, Illinois

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Track Name: THE RAP ARTIST (courtesy of the yellow door)
I'M A CORPORATE SHILL WITH AN IMPORTANT DEAL
GOT IMPORTED SILK FROM RECORDING FILTH I'M A
BORING WILTED ORCHID DICK, COURTED MORGAN
CHORES GET PILED UP. WHORES SAY MY STYLE'S FUCKED BECAUSE

I DON'T HAVE IT. I'M IDLY CHATTIN MY
MILD HEAT RAPPIN IS WILDLY AVERAGE.
A CHILD OF STATIC.
DEFY YOU TO FIND ANY LINES IN MY ATTIC.

SURPRISED? YOU COULD EVEN DENY ME MY STATUS
IEYES OF THE IVY SUPPLIED BY THe MASSES I'M
RIDING BY ACTRESS IN TOW IN FACT INVITING
CHODES AND FAGS IN DROVES, LIGHTENING MY

OWN KIND TO BE OWNED--SLY, STONED AND
SPRY, SEWN LIES OVER BUYING HEADPHONES
WHY? FOR BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
I AM THE ONLY RAP ARTIST
Track Name: BEATNIKS
i LIGHT THE PIPE UP, WESLEY SNIPES YA...BLADERUNNER
MADE UNDER HARRISON FORD GEORGE,
SOMETHING IN THE WAY, KURT RUSSELL. ESCAPE FROM A NEW YORK
SUBWAY TUNNEL HOLDING THE GOLDIE HAWN SOLO, WATCH:

ROLEX. BOLO TIE KNOTTED UP THEIR HEADS LIKE DREADLOCKS
FLOW WHEN THE BED ROCKS, KOTEX
NO CHECKS I SOLD LEX LUGER A BROKEN BOWFLEX, A BOLD MOVE FOR
SOME OLD CHEDDAR ACQUISITION

i got YAMS IN THE KITCHEN n YACK IN THE
SINUS got RACKS RIGHT BEHIND US (SHELVES) "WELL WATER WAITER?"
"ALDERMANIC DUTIES DOING SWELL, FATHER VADER."
FADER BLACK, SILENCE...

MADE HER TRACKS MINDLESS. TWINE TWISTS
SURPRISE US WITH the LINED SHIT FOR ONCE OR TWICE, SHE WRITES
POEMS I MIGHT LIKE EM IF SHE SHOWED PUSSY--NO GO,
SHE GET SO MUSHY. LOOKIE HERE: NO THANKS, i JUST SMOKE DANK AND BAKE COOKIES.

all my friends are so artsy you don't understand
i post a picture of a cat with a pentagram
and a hashtag i'm like, "hahaha, get it?" (get it?)
"isn't that funny?"
"ha ha, get it?" (get it?) "isn't that funny?"

WOW GOD MASSIVE. LOUD GUY SMASH EM LIKE A
SATELLITE PAST BURNT OFFAL ORANGE RED MEAT
TEN SPEED MAKING MY IMPOSTER LIKE THE REAL THING
WEALTHIER THAN GATES AND THEN I MAKE THIS A MOVIE

ALL Y'ALL LOSING. IM IN MONTE CARLO
START ROAD[sic] SCHOLARS SHOWED ALL HER FRIENDS MY COMPUTER
THEN I CONFUSED HER. SHE SAID, "WHAT'S THIS EVEN MEAN?
YOUR LYRICS ARE OBTUSE AND OBSCENE AT THE VERY LEAST."

BITCH YOU KNOW ABSTRACT? I'M AB SOUL PLUS DE LA.
SPADE YA LIKE JOE DIRT HOLD ME BACK FAT PAST
OBESE, TRY ME, SPIT FLAME, NO GIMMICKS
TWO TRAILER PARK GIRLS TRIED TO SUCK ON MY PENIS

I'M EVENIN THE SCORE YOU'RE MOURNING THE FOREGROUND
APPEARS BACKWARD MY STEER NATURAL TIMBRE
GOT DEER IN THE DECANTER AND SOME BEER IN THE BACKYARD
WEIRDER THAN A CHEERIO GARDENIA AND THAT'S HARD

(chorus)
Track Name: SMOKED YEAST (keep it comin')
why are people so inconsiderate bitter
dick licorice here to give the listener illiterate
ramblings of a mad and shambling idiot mentally
sick of it "is he on that shit again?" questions end

over it and over again holding the pen while molding a
rented style into something while i shit in the den of
history's friends richer than ren and stimpy's flimsy catalogue
master of all rappers and after all that i

passed the ball back to y'all, stature imposing
ratchet with the racket sparring tracks with the holy ghost
canolis on deck come correctly with that intellect
indirectly deflecting easter eggs and then i eat her neck

i'm peter check parker web slinger mess lingers
on her dead fingers while her bed disintegrates from
interracial tension spring leaden things into her head and
dream of being god complex and crafty in an apache tent

***

i'm fashion bent, with scads of friends my average
'ends feature a litre and racks in tens of
thousands mouses and men of which i am
neither keep her reaching for the starrrs but my bars defeat her

large and beaster bud, smokin a jesus blunt
cheese and chiefed keef for lunch i'm gettin
evened up we be dumber than your mother jeepers creepers
that's enough, you've had your fun now wrap it up

go slap some nuts, i ain't laughin bruh yes i am
the best damn rapper on the planet and the vested lamb
all death to drab afterthoughts strapped with all the
average talk after trackin this they had to bandage paws

ransom note in the vcr
where'd the car go? ld's garage
i seen the movie don't pause just leave it on
bitch hand me the pussy i'mma keep it cummin



if you don't give me the pussy you're a square
any talk not about pussy's pushing worthless air
i purchase a pair of curtains to lay her down in
the dirge in the lair surges, hercules slay her

with my mouth it's a mountain to climb but
how can i resist it? i been wantin to ride a big
donkey bitch this is my cue this is my song i'm
rockin the whipcrack while she poppin the dickstrap

a slick laughter sing-along recorded in a papa john's
whores lickin fingers off like they was holdin baklava
imposter bars get chocolate starfished
retarded and tossed out like mottled kid parsnips

i got a model's dick, hard shit hardly did a
thing but string a long rope and pull taut, skulls bought
and sold block ruptured under tons of hundreds clothing
and a bunch of fuckin bowie-impersonators hugging closely

---

bitch i'm older than goat cheese
i stole more presents than the grinch and i don't leave
wrists bent with a pitched tent my dick said it's angry at you
pissed evidence shit left a swisher next to jay-z's statue

ladies? tattooed, with babies? "oh THATS who was
calling me!!" oughtta be more careful rockin all this d!!
...licious and delectable and edible genitals i'm a
general in the army made her spread her hole apart for me

in senegal instead of pall bearers i got ball carriers
one for each nut they stuffed my junk with a large harrier jet
and tested flights in night conditions wasn't really safe
chuckin blades like billy mays my silly gaze confuses you

oozin goo for fifty days, dude--i'm still insanely wasted
asian girls is hatin on my playeristic spacesuit,
tainted. i'm like a grapefruit but tasting me is eating money
bitch hand me the pussy i'mma keep it comin
Track Name: WALTER IS BORN
im lookin fresher than a sandwich from subway
i put the pressure on your mam's tits at sunday mass and tag
record sleeves in spanish when the bus late i have a
black and deck her teeth and then her gums spray

crimson buns baked into a blizzard crumbs tastier than
lizard juice snake oil makin this my enterance
mAAAAAAAAN...ya eva seen a chrome alligator
wit a whole team a haters on his back like

like a cape or a jacket??????? i grab her by the
hair and i smack it...
i'm braggadocious i'm tokin on
smoke this flow is retarded

i'm up in whole foods partyin. throwin up
okra and bacardi gettin artsy girls wetter than a
neti pot probably cause they cant do it properly
gettin sloppy head at a party at my property

you can't smoke like i smoke (x4)

i tried to be a happier guy but after romance died
i lost sight of what was mine to begin with
i prolly sound mighty trite and pretentious
but that's ok because i lied i'm just pretendin

cause my life is perfect on the surface
and the inside too. and when i'm inside you i find i
still might lose my mind from trying to prove my time
matters to an actress and a half-ass prudish dime

bagged you, i'ma bad dude, "who dis is?"
match you, "you the shit!" god damn right. man i
got that fightin irish spirit
got me writin all high n delirious

i'm serious, weirdest shit happens in
the mirror it's appealing to a myriad of rappers
dennis leary's just an actor but my fear is that the matter of
the facts is that i'll have to have him rescue me
Track Name: REDUNDANT
everything that you think is cool will seem old as fuck in just a few months and when the
dudes punt back to you the same shit you'll be angry, pancreas achin from the changes you
created. stupid lame bitch. you the same trick from the old dog and you
stayin naked in full view gonna pull part of your pulp off like

pol pot. in the pulpit hittin' bullfrog, my whole dick like a
old star. gettin hos slicker than a bowl of lard that i pull apart on the
boulevard in a rollin car smokin lots of weed like oh my god i'm
a hole in one with a wand and a blunt and a box full of skunk in my arms and i'm walkin to johnny's now

i'm on that bobby brown smokin whitney houston with the
stupid crowd loop it--wow they're impressed it must be the best shit lucy
the juicy j type so maybe i can get her to lube my dang pipe hang tight
on a bitch's bangs while i take time on her thighs offer my assistance for her sister's head clinic let's drain life

outta mainline doin heroin is american i'm apparently heir to them roaring twenties
i'm a fuckin' math-rock goofy band look at that face that i'm makin when i play the bandana
bass line ass backwards that's actually the facts you're a loser ass rapper that
used to be a factor in the past and your fans were mad that you switched to this attractive sooper swagger

-----

overrated underground go n give that fake another crown
his plays just made like a hundred thousand, now you wonder why he's sayin that he's not in town and it's
obvious to the bossest kids that he prolly tryna make some money off of it
but he can't be expected to rock the stiffs when his palms are so sweaty that he drops the sticks and

that baton is slippin like all of his shit is. balls in a vice cause he wants the digits, he
got a audemar flossin like he lost his dentist and when he pause you can prolly hear his antidepressants and when
he charge for all the shows he wants large or better, tryna seem important like he's chartin cheddar, but even
arsonists know you can't start the wetter, you gotta move that dude to some warmer weather,

like welcome to the west coast, now you're famous and we're sellin you the best smoke want a asian girl
let's go to texaco gas and i'll bet you'll throw ass in the back like a train out in mexico
i'll second those movements, my motion is flowin like a pool stick i'm not
doing shit but i'm elusive as two kids with loose lips and a loofa and a dude's dick

my crew's finna do this, my face like, "dude you can't rule spit, the whole
place even sayin i'm the new shit i ain't playin i'm amazin when i do flips
i'm like tulips but with nugs not petals i'm the new kid and i'll screw yo head up til
the skull pop i'm like a full box of those condoms cropped onto plush round genitals
Track Name: SMARTER & COOLER
mysteriously eerie hear me weirdly cheering
you on from the futon over there with the mustard
poupon the toilet boilin over it's a
show for the chauffeur holding you in a covert

position, you'll miss this submission and when
i'm done with you you'll go around on the town
and dream of being a superstar but the
fact that you are an ass is screwing your chances and it's

obvious to everyone but you you're really
awful at all of the things you think you're really
good at doing, who are you fooling? my rule is
looming over your head look under your bed when sleeping

every night, cause i might be testing pesticide put it
in your eye dropper my mighty powers testify
fo fum and when i go dumb i
throw a bun up in her oven justin

bieber on her beaver leave her screaming the cousin
skeeter theme her dream's achievable, my evil will not be stopped
a pill that i popped in a little bit
will probably stick into my throat like a brittle spit

loogie

i'm... so much smarter and cooler
than everybody you're a loser
cause

i'm /rappin in three i dont forget it
and i'm wrappin some cheese up in some lettuce
and janet jackson cds instead of
michael ones so i can still feel comfortable invitin nuns

to the party i'm dumb this is
starting to be hard i'm probably fucked because i'm
stupider than lucifer with a duck bill tryna
goose fur me and dudes learning to juice bird seed

i'm just her penis place mat taste
fat ass and the pussy tained like maxi pads
actually that's pretty fucked and disgusting i'm
a sucky ugly dummy busting

hard bars like i'm nardwuar in a ford taurus
i'm more important than a barged car's origins or its
porschen attributes more than store fan
action dudes i'm sorta bored of slackin, wasn't even

asking you
Track Name: IRRELEVANT
i'm irrelevant rinsed out and washed up my own
Ability dipped down to like not stuff., you can watch us
Crumble into chunks cause I'm a dumb faggot I tried to
Rumble in the ring but it just wasnt happenin In fact my

whole act's agreeing with these punk asses
Hung banshee bitches by the neck until the stump's crackin.
Said I'd kill myself by 18, but I can't commit.
I just wish that death would take me cause this man's a bitch.

You know, my hands would slip... or somethin, shoot my eye out. And
Lie down like my life gone but really it just got worse.
From a long hearse to the soft dirt I want all hurt to just stop churnin
You can try to burn me in the furnace but it's not workin.

A botched sermon left me impervious to god's curses
I walk mirthless into churches like a matador.
Slam the door down in my pelle winter coat and ask the
lord "now can you take me? Well then TELL ME WHEN TO GO, BITCH"


cause i'm sick of this life
every day i wanna die
but why am i so fucking angry?
why am i so mad?


...i don't understand cause i got
plenty to be glad about it ain't that bad i got a
mother and a sister and some uncles and a dad
but on the other hand i really can't relate.

cause we ain't the same. and what's weird is if
even if they hear this they'd think that i'm delirious in fear of it
i appear to them as bearded fems: a
mismatched hodgepodge dick splashed onto your mom's crotch

i have a few a good friends though
i'm not alone but on them i still depend so i'm
a pensive little bitch without a means to his own end i have
never been a loner and that's something i contend with

i'm pretentious and mentionably offensive
i'm depressing and a friend who will be oppressive
i'm a lecherous jester edging your chess set
if you're expecting the wretched better than best bet


i am so fucking worthless nobody loves me
i'm a fucking dummy don't get in front of me i'll prolly
throw up because i can't handle this


god damnit. every single day on this
planet is a waste but it isn't and i know that i'm just
so riled up and my whole style suffers indefinitely
as long as i am lettin it get to me i'm

mentally retarded and really that is all it is
i'm a grown child that's lethargic as shit, i'm
startin to get much older than i expected and
if i pull a bitch from high school i'll prolly get arrested

i'm a nest egg that never hatched the best thing that ever rapped
and yet things is hecka bad and i bet that i'm depressed and sad
forever and ever and never achieve my dreams cause i'm in a scene of
sleezy sleep arounds for cheddar and drugs and entering butts never being

fun is my MO, gettin drunk so i can let go of
my life and everything about it it's gettin cloudy
i'm allowed to be a floundering loser i'm not about to be the
cooler son i'm bound to be the loud and fucking stupid one


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